> What on
Earth am I doing here?
Thanksgiving Day in America is normally a time to offer thanks, of
family gatherings and holiday meals - turkeys, stuffing, and
pumpkin pie. Indeed, there’s plenty to be thankful about: big
house, luxury cars, good paying job - just to name a few.
Particularly for many Filipinos, life in America is abundantly
great.
There is a price, however to all the good life. We work long
hours, at times favoring the graveyard shift for the extra pay.
Some even venture working in two or three jobs to pay-off
thousands of mortgage or credit card payments. Add to that the
burgeoning traffic problem particularly in areas with active
housing development.
You wake up in the morning and stare yourself in the mirror,
asking the same you’ve been asking yourself for the last several
days or weeks, “What on Earth am I doing? Why am I punishing
myself to death with all these craziness?” And often, find
yourself asking for the meaning of life. Such scenario is fairly
common during this part of the year and it normally gets worse
during the holiday season.
Before you stop the world and attempt to get off this rat race,
consider the following:
Life comes in stages. As a child, you are the “gift from God” –
the miracle in your parents’ life. They love to kiss, hug, bath,
and cuddle you – they loved every minute they spent with you.
Remember the generous Johnson & Johnson’s baby powder they exposed
you to or the splash of “Angel Breath” baby cologne all over your
body? Some with bad breath even kissed you and praised your baby
smell. Yes, nobody asked for your opinion if you wanted these in
your body. You’re apolitical – meaning you can’t ask yourself the
meaning of life, nor could you be pro-life or pro-choice. You were
for other people’s pleasure – not yours. But hey, remember the
immortal Freddie Aguilar song, “Anak” – your parents spent
sleepless nights taking care of you. Your mom even fed you with
her own breast milk. They did all that for a price - so one day
you could utter that first coherent word – “da.”
Teenage rebellion – a nasty word but a ritual that everyone must
go through. From the first word you uttered, your vocabulary has
now grown and now able to talk back. Your parents disliked your
clothes, your music, and the people you hang around with. Omigod,
you’re a punk – those tattoos, pierced earrings and nose rings,
and shaved heads. Your parents did not want any of that. You are a
disgrace to the family name and often, reminded you of their past
– of how they have to walk miles and miles to school just to get
an education. Of course you wondered why they had to do that –
their generation must be so dumb, they can’t even invent the
tricycle then? Johnny, you’re no longer the apple of their eye but
they needed you to let off that stress on their lives for pursuing
the American dream. They’re society’s slaves so they have to
reassert their position at home as the master of their own kingdom
and you my friend is their serf.
So you’re lucky to get past puberty without the excess baggage of
having a child and have your own life now. Just like your parents,
you begin to build your empire – clothes, cars, cozy apartment,
friends, booze – just to name a few. You’ve got a degree but
really can’t apply the knowledge to the job. So you get a job –
just a job because you have to be independent and being impatient
of the slow-coming good offers that your professors at State said
you would get. Soon you realize that life is really not a big
oyster, you move back in with your folks and continue on with your
merriment. Soon you discover your parents’ latest craze – tribal
casinos! What a rush those blazing sevens could give you. And the
credit cards – what a bonanza, everybody loves to accept them
until you have max’ed it out. Creditors are after you and you
ignore them. Soon, your parents bail you out because “you’re
ruining the family’s reputation!” My friend, you have become a
valued consumer having established your credit history.
With some luck, you found the right match and want to get settled
– whatever that means. Settle your debts? Perhaps, pay back your
parents’ gratitude? I don’t know, but whatever, soon you’ll have
your kids and starts climbing uphill – jobs, cars, utilities,
insurance, tuition, mortgage. You’re definitely part of the rat
race now. When you come home after negotiating through the
traffic, you’re stressed and just want to rest. The words “da, da”
and the smile from your little girl are the best you’ve ever had
that day. You’re tired but you’re willing to bathe her and cuddle
or carry her in your arms. Soon you’re cooking dinner.
As you get older, perhaps retired and your kids are grown – yes,
surprisingly they have grown and no longer the helpless kids you
thought they one were. Look at them now with their own families –
you’re so proud. They’re not the doctors you want them to be but
they’re doing okay. Soon, you find yourself wanting to visit them
– not to see your children but to hug their kids, bring them toys
– spoil them! You even offer to baby sit their kids so they can
attend their organization’s dinner dance. After all, they’re now
officers of your town’s association. Yes, you have become their
serfs until you start trekking that big valley in the sky.
You see, life is a cycle - it goes on and on. It has its ups and
downs. Just be happy you have what you have today. Happy
Thanksgiving!
