Potshots
from Manila
By Sonny Pucio
Mirasol
I suppose it was this paper’s way of bringing the matter to the
attention of the governor but it was so ironic that right below
that June 9 front page color photo of the presumably story about
Cam. Sur children having the highest incidence of malnutrition in
all of Bicol (though Naga City has the lowest incidence of 5.6%
against the province’s 24.7%). Sa administracion ni Villafuerte,
garo bacong puerte an pagcacan can dacul na aki.
As my colleague, Joey Co, quoted in his column of the same issue,
“The greatest natural resource that any country can have is still
its children”. I hope the governor and the provincial board are
made aware of the scientific fact that 50% of a child’s mental
capacity is developed from birth to age 4 and the next 25% from
age 4 to 13 – and nutrition is a vital factor. Let’s pray that
LRay doesn’t betray the next generation and immediately starts a
child feeding program. Anyway, belated birthday greetings to the
governor, el rey del Cam. Sur.
I’ve only recently learned that the Cam. Sur vice gov. is my
Ateneo classmate Sal Fortuno, as was Cris Rances. I hope Sal
doesn’t also do a Manolo Gorospe. Remember Comelec’s kissing lolo?
But I don’t think an Imelda will pop in and mess up Sal Fortuno’s
fortune.
After the tong revelations came Ong and the electorate rape tape
left so many agape, as Ong faced arrest for sounding the gong. The
ex-NBI luminary almost gave Glory a coronary and sought sanctuary
in a seminary. (Had he been holed out in a bawdy house, that would
have been a semen-ary). Ong’s legal panel is led by Bicol’s
fighting Liwayway Chato who doesn’t sport a crew cut nor is
stiffened only by Liwayway gawgaw.
GMA vowed zero corruption by the end of her term. With credibility
below zero, she plays hero, as when vowing a second term, Oh, my
nanay, pray that her next term isn’t in something like Tanay. Was
it all sindak ni pandak? More of indak, I’d say, Ho-say. Dance
with the Wolves, dunce.
The opposition declared that even without Susan, impeachment would
push through. The GMA boys blared, “Will it pull through?” With
the Rainbow Coalition in the House, it sinks even lower, in
collision with the constitution of the nation.
Susan’s stand on the electorate rape tape is most admirable. With
her added weight, Susan stands like two-ton roses.
The Church distanced itself from calls for GMA ouster. They really
just want to roust her, but Pimentel & Co. continue to joust and
exhaust her.
His Honor, the Apalit, Pampanga mayor, not without dishonor,
repudiated his admitted P200,000 a month jueteng payola. My lola
sniffs he must have received more, oolala, and wants to douse the
louse with the vile contents of her orinola.
Noli, the electorates folly, called for Pinoys to protect
democracy, propelling the demo-crazy to the streets. Ping Lacson,
of the iron hand, on the other hand, exhorted the PNP (Pretending
No Payola) to restore its dignity. What a dig, since all they have
is nothing but patola.
The Palace denied that the June 13 holiday was to quell ant-GMA
protests. The people didn’t dwell on the protests but it did swell
crowds at GMA-7 joining contests.
The Upper House, unaffected by the Upper Room, suspended its
jueteng probes. Proves Malacañang has the upper hand and can lower
the boom. So, how can the Senate wield the boom?
Pro-GMA solons, many like morons, said the call for GMA to resign
is a daydream. To anti-GMA lawmakers, many of them lawbreakers,
the status quo is a nightmare.
A headline read: “Arroyo pleads for unity”. I thought it insanity
to plead to the fractured opposition to unite. Another headline
said she vowed a 50% reduction in corruption by midterm, which I
believe will happen only if all our volcanoes go up in eruption at
the same time. She also called for a stop to “dirty politics”. At
last, we have confession and confirmation, but will she get
absolution or the last rites?
The “Day of Mourning” in this Land of the Morning, didn’t result
in anything the next morning. Rage, rage, rage against the dying
of the light. Keep up the fight. The morn dark as night, but where
is the White Knight?
The apes and chimps in Congress voraciously devour pork and not
bananas in this banas na republic. Yes, they also have
extra-marital congress. With pork barrel, sitting in Congress is a
walk in the park, no quarrel about that.
Cops no longer walk a beat but they still beat up suspects. In a
girlie joint operation, they touch only the girls who suit their
fascination. After the operation, the owners get the touch and
hand over their cooperation.
During Erap’s time, Lakas was almost wakas. Even Joe the Venetian,
the great party magician, was sidelined like an old, blind
Venetian. After bouncing back as the nation’s No. 4 he’s been
pushing cha-cha to the force, spousing parliamentalism and
eschewing Manila’s imperialism, his ticket to prime ministerialism.
Graft has become government craft displacing statecraft. Though
many bureau rats have become big cheese, don’t blame it on Kraft.
Again, Little Ms. Moppet, someone’s puppet, has been shielded by a
Bush, as smelly Mussomeli (no relation to Mussolini) mused that
there is a legitimate government. But the No. 2 of the US embassy
didn’t send Glory to ecstacy because she wasn’t mentioned by name.
Must be a new game.
As usual, Glory bee, the bumble bee, wasn’t at the Kawit balcony
Independence Day rites because she barely clears the balustrade.
This year, it was the Veep, who makes many weep, who took her
place. Hope it doesn’t become permanent, NDC replacing GMA,
because that’s all he clears, the balustrade, they say, amidst
riotous jeers.
Those fed up to the gills with the nation’s ills take to the hills
and start the kills.
Poe may have lost the election because that’s how many of us
pronounce “foe.” But it’s more likely that it was because someone
in fear of losing spread it around that FPJ meant Filipinos’
Political Jeopardy. There’s no wiretap tape to prove that.
Blue label didn’t cause Erap’s waddle. Now that he’s lost the
waddle, but is out of the saddle, he’s cooped up with pets that
waddle. Perhaps his pet ducks remind him of how he was a sitting
duck for the schemers of Edsa Dos, whom he’d like to smash with a
dos-por-dos.
As tourism secretary, Dick Gordon claimed cutting tourism’s
Gordian knot with his “Wow Philippines” and that’s how he’s now in
the Senate. Before that, his short-lived “Kakasa ka ba?” was more
of Kakaba-kaba.
Legarda St. in Manila leads to Malacañang but Loren Legarda’s
career has veered away from Malacañang. She didn’t return to ABS-CBN
after she turned against alleged collie, Noli.
Snail mail can’t be made more speedy by replacing postmen with
women (who are often more efficient than men) because women don’t
have male bags, mix male matter in their drawers, and take nine
long months to deliver.
Manoling Morato threw a sparkling red tomato at Archbishop Cruz in
a paid ad and letters to the editors of Manila broadsheets. His
point: Why did Cruz’s witnesses, who have been in jueteng for 20
years, not also expose previous recipients of jueteng payola who
have gotten away with their ill-gotten wealth and strut around
like respectable citizens? Why only the recipients in this
administration, and not also in the previous ones? Good point. Was
it too heavy a cross for Cruz?
If we get rid of Gloria, in extinguished excelsis, by golly, it’s
Noli and not “Magandang Gabi, Bayan” but “Malagim Gabi-gabi ang
Bayan.”
Garcillano is not an Italiano with an Ilocano father and Ita (Agta)
mother. Had Garci spoken in Farsi, there’d be no electorate rape
tape. With his current notoriety, Garci can’t even endorse Pepsi
or Sarci
Glory and Gary or G-G. Sounds like a rotten kettle of Cory’s
galung-gong or Kurdapia’s tilapia.
Pls 4ward 2 aders on ur cp: “As long as u r proud, u can’t know
God at ol. A proud man s alwys luking down on tings n pipol. Of
cors, as long as u r luking down u wont c somting dats abov u” –
C.S. Lewis.
Text 0915-949-7638 for comments or suggestions; not to go jump in
the lake, pls.
