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Impossible to please
The following is the latest e-mail joke I got from Ateneo HS 72
classmate Gerardo M. General, M.D., a practicing physician based
in California, USA. A son of Inquirer business page columnist
Honesto General, Gerry is the incumbent vice-president of Naga
City USA, an organization of, yes, US-based Nagueños that has been
partnering with City Hall on some of its development projects.
Cheer up and read on:
THE “Husband Store” that sells new husbands has just opened in New
York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the
instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store
operates: “You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors
and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the
flights.”
There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a
particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you
cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the “Husband Store” to find a husband. On the
first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good
looking. “Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good
looking and help with the housework.
”Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!” Still, she
goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous,
help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the
sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no
men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women
are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the “Husband
Store”.
Meanwhile, a new “Wives Store” opened across the street. The first
floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money. The third
through sixth floors have never been visited.
Want more rib-ticklers? Enjoy this one:
A well-stacked young advertising secretary wore tight knit dresses
that showed off her figure, especially when she walked. Her young,
aggressive boss motioned her into his office one afternoon and
closed the door. Pointing to her tightly covered derriere,
he asked, “Is that for sale?”
“Of course not!” she snapped angrily, blushing furiously.
Unchagrined, he replied quietly, “Then, I suggest you quit
advertising it.”
More joke:
After two years in Korea a Marine was shipped back to the States.
Naturally, after a tearful shipside reunion, he and his beautiful
wife went immediately to a hotel. Much later that night a drunk
wandering through the hall banged on their door, shouting, “Let me
in!”
“Good Lord,” said the Marine, leaping from the bed only
half-awake, “I’ll bet that’s your husband!”
“Don’t be silly,” his wife sleepily reassured him, “he’s in
Korea.”
One last joke:
A pair of suburban couples who had known each other for quite some
time talked it over and decided to do a little conjugal swapping.
The trade was made the following evening, and the newly arranged
couples retired to their respective houses. After about an hour of
bedroom bliss, one of the wives propped herself up on an elbow,
looked at her new partner and said:
“Well, I wonder how the boys are getting along.”
