NO less than Gloria in excelsis has announced, at the 34th birthday party of her youngest, Rep. Diosdado “Dato” Arroyo, that P3 billion in projects are already on the pipeline for CamSur’s first district, with Libmanan getting the lion’s share.

        That’s great news. Should Dato’s constituents now jump up and down like chimps and bow before mama-son?

        Let’s examine the fine print first. Behind that awesome news is a high price tag: the re-election of Dato and the division of the first and second districts to accommodate Budget Secretary Rolando “Nonoy” Andaya, Jr. In the long run, instead of going directly to projects and services for the people, the appropriation for the new district will instead go to the pork barrel, allowances, personnel services, travel and other perks of a congressman. Nonoy and his late father occupied that seat for 18 uninterrupted years. It seems Dato is about to start his own political dynasty, right here in Bicol.

        Gerrymandering, started by a U.S. congressman who immortalized his name to that word in the English language, is the practice of dividing a district into two or more so that party in power and the congressman who sponsored it can have his share of the pie and eat it too, or get rid of voters who are with the other party.

        The problem is that the law requires a certain income and population before redistricting is allowed. Even if by some creative math they can come up with the numbers; Libmanan, where Dato’s house is located, and is therefore his legal residence, will have to stay with him, along with other neighboring towns, excluding Andaya’s hometown, Ragay, which is close to Libmanan. The reapportionment would look like a pirate’s treasure map. This is where the danger lies – for Nonoy and Dato. Remember the Ursua – Ojeda race? Mayor Ojeda won in Naga and neighboring towns, but two days later, Libmanan votes came and Ursua won! Now the reverse is true.

        Last Sept. 4, a headline on the ears of one of our national dailies caught my attention: At a Senate hearing of the local governments committee headed by Sen. Benigno “Noynoy” Aquino, Jr., he was constrained to suspend the hearing in anger after Sen. Joker Arroyo interjected and wanted to include on the agenda the redistricting of the first and second districts of Camarines Sur into three, when the agenda on the calendar was for the reapportionment of congressional districts of CamNorte and Cavite. The cat is now out of the bag.

        I tried to check with the Lower House if such a bill has already passed third reading there, but I am still on hold for an answer. I also don’t know if a public hearing was ever conducted in the first and second districts. What I know about is a similar case of Parañaque in 2004. After Rep. Roilo Golez ended his 9-year term, he was appointed national security adviser. Rep. Eduardo Zialcita was elected to his post. Zialcita filed a bill in Congress to divide the lone district of Parañaque into two. Public hearings were conducted but we heard the bill was still in the Senate. A few weeks later, before the deadline for filing of certificates of candidacy, GMA signed into law the bill dividing Parañaque into two.

        Whatever GMA wants, she can get from Congress. The Lower House is on the cusp of her tiny hands and bottomless pockets. The Senate will cooperate. What’s one little district from the boondocks when you can have your normal P20 million cut from your annual P200 million pork? The COA does not audit Congress’ expenses. All that is needed is the Senator’s signature. This is according to Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago. Congress always follows the money trail, which ends in Malacañang.

        Nonoy, according to the late Anak-Pawis Rep. Crispin “Ka Bel” Beltran, a Bicolano, practices the time-honored no-vote, no-pork policy. That’s why Opposition solons that are frequent thorns on GMA’s side get to eat camote, not bacon. You know the old joke: “Camote is a musical fruit, when you eat it you make tot.” That explains why some opposition solons talk the most, to expel hot air and excess gas.

        The redistricting of the first and second districts is a done deal. Dato will get his toy. But then, like the Chinese character for danger, it has another meaning: opportunity. For the Opposition, that is.

        Naga City has the highest number of votes in the second district. Rep. Louie Villafuerte won’t mind losing Naga City. In all previous elections, both for mayor and for congressman, Louie and his candidates have never won in Naga City. Mayor Jesse Robredo defeated her aunt and Louie’s sister, Mrs. Pura V. Magtuto, in 1992, and his cousin and LRV’s nephew, Mariano “Jojo” Villafuerte, Jr. twice (2004 and 2007); LRV’s son, now Gov. LRay, once; and Cho Roco, with the backing of Mayor Robredo, defeated LRay for mayor in 1998, and LRV’s other son, Bong, lost to Cho Roco for representative in 2001. Even when Louie won as congressman in 2004 and 2007, against Cho Roco, he still lost to him by a large margin in Naga City. Not only that, Mayor Robredo towed his vice mayor and 10 councilors to victory in all these contests! Nonoy Andaya, if pitted against Robredo, will have the fight of his life in the reformatted second district. Naga’s voting population of 70,572 voters (2007 elections) is equivalent to seven towns with 10,000 voters each in its periphery. There are no hot issues against Robredo. He has placed Naga on the limelight by frequently winning awards for good governance both nationally and internationally.

        Even Dato, if matched against the likes of Daisy Hernandez Sison Payumo, who is bright, pretty, well-schooled (she taught at the International School in Makati), articulate; can dance and sing (as she did in Bataan, when she campaigned for her husband, former Rep. Felicito Payumo); has the right Bicol pedigree (her grandpa is Don Jaime Hernandez, first Filipino Auditor General and ex-Finance Secretary; mother is UNC president and former Assemblywoman in the Interim Pambansa, Dolores Hernandez Sison, her father the late Dean Antonio M. Sison (UP law, cum laude) though from Pangasinan was elected to the Con-Con. Perhaps Daisy can be encouraged to transfer her vote registration to her ancestral home, Libmanan.

        With GMA no longer in excelsis but already in extremis after 2010, not all the moola and promises of more manna from Malacañang can assure Nonoy and Dato of victory in the next election.

        In my last article, I warned against modern-day Magi bearing gifts. Now that the Chief Magus herself has come down to Libmanan waving P3 billion worth of projects, let us hope that, unlike the P1 billion in the 2006 GAA earmarked for the international airport in Daraga, Albay, not a single centavo of which has been released to date despite the assurances of former Appropriations committee chair and budget secretary and concurrent presidential economic adviser, Gov. Joey Salceda, this one will come true.