Taking money or property. Forging an older person’s signature. Getting an older person to sign a deed or will through deception, coercion or undue influence. Using the older person’s property or possessions without permission. Promising lifelong care in exchange for money or property, and not following through on the promise. Confidence crimes (“cons”) are the use of deception to gain victim’s confidence. Fraud is the use of deception, trickery, false pretense or dishonest acts or statements for financial gain. Addition of names to the senior’s signature card.

        These examples of financial abuses are from the National Committee for the Prevention of Elder Abuse (NCPEA), an association of researchers, practitioners, educators and advocates dedicated to protecting the safety, security and dignity of America’s most vulnerable citizens.

        It’s not uncommon for the elderly to become victims of financial abuse. The abuser can be a relative, a friend, a stranger, an acquaintance or a family member. According to the National Association of Adults Protective Services Administrators, family members commit more than half of the crimes of financial abuse against the elderly.

        Having come from a culture where the elderly are respected, honored and loved, and where families are closely knit, I find the stats difficult to believe. Perhaps among Americans, but not among Filipinos. The thought that it will happen to a Filipino family that I know is not even in my wildest imagination, until I met Ramon.

        Then, I realize that financial abuse of the elderly has no boundaries.

        In Ramon’s case, his victim is his own mother.

        The details are shocking: Ramon forging his mom’s signature; grooming his mom to gain her support and confidence; requesting blank checks using his mom’s account without her knowledge; exaggerating claims to give him money; charging his mom’s credit card without proper authorization; getting her mom to sign a loan through deception; constantly asking money to pay for his car’s monthly amortization; opening a joint account with his mom to access her pension.

        Thousands of seniors across the United States are abused physically, sexually, emotionally and financially. As elders become frail, they leave openings for unscrupulous family members who take advantage of their conditions. In Ramon’s case, he knows his mother is an enabler and he takes advantage of her mental disposition.

        True, Ramon professes love for his mom. He drives her around. He buys her groceries. He visits her. He sometimes cooks for her. It’s all part of the grooming process that’s similar to what happens when a sex offender uses charm and “friendliness” to deceive and manipulate one’s victims. Then, like a cat at night, Ramon strikes.

        Unlike other abusers, Ramon is not a gambler or a drug user. In fact, he can be a charmer. He goes to church regularly. He is active in the community.

        But at age 67, with no permanent job, and a history of bad debts, Ramon is wisely thinking about his future – or lack of it. All of a sudden, he wants to see his mom’s will, which not even his siblings have seen. Being the eldest, he professes he is entitled to it. He believes he is justified in taking what is rightfully his now, thinking perhaps that his mom might use up her savings and leave him with nothing.

        For Ramon, it’s all about himself: What can he get? What is due him? What is he entitled to?

        “It’s a gift.”

        “I’m going to pay it back.”

        “Mom is giving it to me willingly.”

        Ramon just does not get it. With a mom who may already be losing her cognitive ability and a son who, for many years now, has successfully and unconscionably manipulated her mom to give him everything, there is no end in sight for the cycle of abuse to stop.

        It’s tragic. It’s pathetic.